Oh Em Gee

I just drooled all over my pillow. Again.

I always do that.

Tears for Fears

Fuck.

Its amazing how time flies. Yes, its something we've heard over and over from many teachers, historians, and great grandparents. But... when you whole heartedly experience that feeling of loss and gain all at the same time. It makes your heart sink. Its not a negative feeling...Well, at least the one i'm experiencing now.

It was instigated by a proposal for KU's "new music" ensemble. I received an email this morning and saw that they were going to be auditioning for a performance for John Zorn's Cobra. It hit me with excitement because it was something that my friends used to perform annually when I was a starving artist in West Philly. It started with me searching for possible old videos of us performing it in YouTube. Instead, I found videos of people I used to rub elbows with/attend their concerts/be a part of their creative circle. Anyway, so as I'm reminiscing trying to snoop into the musicians of my past; I find a myspace page. Their streaming music player. Their first track. and this one....brought me waaaaaay back. Yep, In my mind I saw myself at 18, carrying my 4 octave kelon marimba through downtown Manhattan searching for The Stone (One of John Zorn's music venues for creative music). I used to have routine gigs in NYC with these musicians because I was the only improvising marimba player around, as well as the youngest. And to think, its been nearly 2 years since I've seen any creative music.

In no way is this post try to be chauvinistic. It just gets that I'm studying something that I love, but its purpose will eventually be serving something very very different. My teacher once said, "they don't teach music in music school. They teach the technique and discipline to develop it."

My goal is to be intimate in my music making.

buh.

The Reform, Dream sequence.

With my mother, and another random boy whose younger, trying to meet up with another boy my age who knows about the "reform". When speaking of the reform, I'm referring to nothing media related to any advertised. Its something more of a spiritual reform, working its way through the inside out, the inside scenes, from inside our bodies. First, by changing the way we eat, then changing what we know about the world itself and how we function as a humanity. After meeting with this boy, nothing was really discissed we just had a sort of understanding (even though I wasn't sure exactly). We leave the house and it looks as if I'm walking down Baltimore Ave in West Philly. I stop into a shop and moments later am being harassed by a dykish lesbian couple. The owners of the store. They both proclaim: Here she Is! Ok, let me tell you whats up. One of the women pulls me outside and beings to explain as we stroll down Baltimore Ave. "Everyone knows about you, you're all over the internet, about the reform. You were a major spiritual leader 3 4 centuries ago, or was that civilizations? But during the last few past lives you have forgotten about it more and more until now you are just living you're mundane life like everyone else. You need to realize your potential and start guiding us through the Reform!"

... and then I woke up. Freaked out of my mind.