iono

It happened last night.

All this solitude is starting to get to me. I guess over the last year Ive really changed. That improvising, world music playing, guy crushing, female musician from West Philly is really in the past.

I went to a show last night. It was at a gallery called Skylab, downtown Columbus. I figured, yeah, why not go out and see you're "friends" play. The guy who runs the joint broke the world record for Hula Hooping for 72 hours? Hes a performance artists and has an art space that sleeps about 10? maybe I couldn't count. Home grown art, vintage clothing, not showering for days, noise music, thick philosophical books on the many coffee tables that support old beer cans and ashed joints. Vegan potlucks, Freeganing about...You know, the same stuff that was going on in West Philly 2005-2008. It was all exhilarating and exciting at the time, but that was long since past. and this was the watered down, smaller Midwestern version. But hey I'm not against it. I totally support the guys, I just find it rather boring and ironically uncreative.

So a friend of mine from Philly was playing and I decided to go say hi. The Hula hooping champion has been hooping after me since I got to town, and was adamant on saying his goodbyes before he heads to New Delhi, India to become a nanny for a few years.

The show was scheduled to start at 8:45, and the first band didn't go on until 10:30. Me, being an old granny, I just couldnt bear it. I asked Natalie if I could buy one of her records, since I would be secretly splitting in a few minutes. Hse said sure, 5 bucks! and said she'd be right back. She didn't return for a while and I happened to check my money situation and saw that I only had 3 bucks. Ultimately, I got frustrated and left without saying goodbye.

I guess I'm still pissed about everything right now. I'm moving to Kansas, Curtis was out, and the only creative music scene surrounding me these days is noise. The last few nights Ive been haunted by Louis Armstrong's greatness and have been wanting to find something with just as much spirit and innovation as he had for America in the 20th century.

The only problem is... I don't know what that sound is... and the only way for me to do it, is to start writing it on my own. Ive never been able to satisfy myself musically nor write my own tunes or compositions.

...i don't know. I just feel very alone.

I miss my old heros. I miss feeling inspired. I'm going home for a few days. I'll get back to you soon.

thanks